Completing a rite of passage that all late-night talk show hosts must eventually endure as their careers progress—something about the combination of a darkened room, the midnight hour, and a flickering TV screen seem to create unhealthy comedian/schizophrenic attachments—Conan O'Brien has earned the stalky affections of a Catholic priest from Boston, who was arrested in NY last Friday after sending unhinged letters on parish letterhead, threatening O'Brien's parents, and trying to crash a taping of his favorite show:
"I want a public confession before I ever consider giving you absolution - or a spot on your couch," wrote the Rev. David Ajemian, who signed the notes "Padre," said Barbara Thompson, a spokeswoman for the Manhattan district attorney's office.
Court papers say Ajemian referred to himself as "your priest stalker" in one note and complained of not being allowed in to see an earlier taping of the O'Brien show.
"Is this the way you treat your most dangerous fans?" the note said.
An even more chilling look into the Padre's mind can be found on The Smoking Gun, which has the criminal court order that led to his arrest, including this sample: "THIS IS YOUR PRIEST-STALKER AGAIN, THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN TRACKING YOU THROUGH SPACE AND TIME, FROM MATHER HOUSE TO ST. LAWRENCE TO THE MAJESTIC. I PAID $250 TO FLY DOWN TO NYC JUST TO HAVE A SPOT IN THE AUDIENCE, IN THE DIMMING HOPE THAT YOU MIGHT FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGE ME...I'M TOLD BY SOME OF THOSE OFFICIOUS LITTLE USHER PEOPLE THAT YOU'RE OVERBOOKED AND TO GET THE *** OFF THE PREMISES!!!" Thankfully for all involved, even though the priest-stalker believed his brand of crazy couldn't be restrained by space and time, all it took was one uppity NBC page to foil the deranged cleric's plans to meet his favorite Boston Catholic-boy-made-good.