"Spa-lom Aleichem!" Yes, that is a real headline in 'Jewish Living,' the new magazine that's set to ameliorate the "shortage of information specifically for Jewish women in the popular homemaking magazines." This magazine sort of rules! From the front of the book section "kvell" alone, we learned: That Sandra Bernhard attends shul every Saturday ("It really provides me with a framework to get through the week") and that someone named "Poopa Dweck" has written a book called 'The Aromas Of Aleppo.' Later, in the "On the Menu" section, we discovered tips for "making it healthy without losing the tasty." And there's a whole feature about Jews with tattoos—rabbis still consider the real kind "desecration of the body," fyi, but there is a page of temporary tattoos included free with the magazine. That's right, you are only $4.99 and a newsstand away from having a tramp stamp that says "Shayna Maidel" ("pretty girl"). But that's not even the magazine's highlight!
No, that would have to be a feature called "ritual decoder," which in this issue helps readers make sense of the bris, or ritual circumcision, ceremony. "It's not enough that you just brought home a beautiful baby boy—now you have to throw a party?" JL asks.
But not to worry: "Planning a big life-cycle event days just days after coming home from the hospital doesn't have to be daunting." Especially not if you make sure to memorize JL's handy list of 7 essential "questions to ask a mohel," including question #2: "Where do you stand on metzitza, the Talmudic requirement to suck blood from the wound?"
Man, Martha Stewart's blandishments to remember to prune your perennials just don't seem quite as vitally relevant as they used to.