You would never actually go to the kind of party that websites like Ambrel, Cobrasnake, Nicky Digital, and Last Night's Party exist to take pictures of, but you sure would sit at your desk and make fun of those pictures! That's pretty cool! Alex Blagg enables you to pass judgment every week around this time.
10.Last Night's Party. Red Bull Without A Cause photo #2025: Unless you're a college freshman McSweeney's groupie chick who's into 3-ways, even one of this guy is way too many.
9.The Cobrasnake. Dont Stop Camping photo #2869: I think the hipster photographers should get together and put out an annual wall calendar of wasted 19 year-old scenester chicks sitting on filthy sidewalks in front of random closed-up bodegas (sometimes near a pile of vomit). Because we see a lot of these shots, and each of them are every bit as adorable as a kitten in a laundry basket wearing an Army helmet.
8. Last Night's Party. mtvU photo #3465: Nice hat and emo expression, you fucking douchebag. You look like a gay bear riverboat gambler on lithium.
7. The Cobrasnake. mtvU photo #2919: Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!
6. Nicky Digital. Gallery M photo #63219: Shhhh...he's quietly wishing people would take him more seriously.
5. The Cobrasnake. Time Bomb photo #5206: Look if you get date-raped by this guy, and you didn't want to, it's really your own fault. I mean, the coke glasses, the stubble, the member's only jacket, the "I will date rape you" expression - is there any way he could possibly be more upfront about this?
4. The Cobrasnake. 24 Hour Paper Store photo #4773: Lohan must've swan dived off the wagon again, because there's no way in hell a sober person would ever willingly hang out with someone who has THAT haircut, yet clearly still takes themselves very seriously. He's one of those magical LA people who seem completely ridiculous to the naked eye, but suddenly turns into a fascinating artist and genius something-designer as soon as you're coked out of your skull at some famous DJ's party.
3. Nicky Digital. Gallery M photo #63244: "Oh my goodness, Sasha! Those purple sparkly spankex, and that Strawberry Shortcake OshKosh B'Gosh blouse, and your little disco purse full of cocaine, and the necklace made out of old combs - girl, you're so fabulous, I could just EAT YOU!"
2. Nicky Digital. Six Six Sick photo #63252: Someone just learned the hard way that YOU DO NOT EVER touch Francis Fonzie's hot pink earmuffs. Ever.
1. The Cobrasnake. Jumping Beans photo #7581: It's nice to see today's hipster kids finally paying some fucking respect to Jesse the Retarded VJ Guy From MTV. His 15 minutes may have ended long ago, but he blazed the trail for the "dressing and and acting like an autistic crystal meth addict" scene that's so cool today, because he was doing that shit back when the Cobrasnake was still taking snap shots of his goth high school friends at some mall in the burbs. Jesse is pretty much the Chuck Berry of everything that sucks today.