Wall Street Bonuses Biggest Ever, Again!

On Friday, CNNMoney.com warned us that some Wall Street employees would be seeing tragic, drastic cuts in their annual bonuses—up to 50% at some mortgage-related firms. Specifically, hard-working bankers at Bear Stearns, Citigroup, and Merrill Lynch were expected to be "hit hard" by all the ridiculously irresponsible lending and related business they've been practicing for the last couple years. But today brought good news for those Heroes of Finance!

All that worrying was for nothing, as bonuses split among employees of Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers, and Bear Stearns will in fact add up to about $38 billion, beating last year's record. And all that despite each firm (besides Goldman) losing all their market value!

Oh: With the exception of Merrill Lynch, all those banks listed end their fiscal years in November, and according to these bloggers, those investment banks "could lock in their bonuses at the end of November and announce writedowns in December," which would screw the banks with fiscal years ending in December.

In other words, many of the assholes who are dooming us all will get much richer regardless, like always, while others of them will get not-as-rich, or richer at a slightly slower pace, or maybe even marginally less rich.

And then all the banks will collapse and we'll be carrying around wheelbarrows full of worthless dollars and RON PAUL WAS RIGHT SAVE GOLD IN YOUR MATTRESS.

Wall Street Plans $38 Billion of Bonuses as Shareholders Lose [Bloomberg]
Some Wall Street Bonuses To Be Cut In Half [CNN]
Bonus Advantage: November! [Milka Samora's Reality Journal]