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Vegan temple of soy mediocrity Zen Palate on Union Square is being replaced by a Jeffrey Chodorow backed Fatty Crab offshoot. NYU kids living in Carlyle, U-Hall and the Palladium will have to find some other place to get gooey overly sweet chunks of seitan to quench their munchies after smoking copious amounts of pot even though what they really want is a cheeseburger from Veselka but this cute hippie girl from Bethesda, MD who they're trying to get with and who is the whole reason they're smoking pot in the first place—though it makes them horribly paranoid and they have a ConWest paper due tomorrow—is, duh, also a vegan. [NYT]

Correction: Dudes, don't wig out. Fatty Crab is replacing the Zen Palate on 77th and Broadway. My bad. Blaze away!