As it turns out, Oberlin has sort of a "secret" website, as secret as any website called Oberlin Confessional can get. You can type in your anonymous confessions in the "booth!" After the jump, excerpts from November 27th alone:

Anyone want to hookup tonight. I have been with a woman but just want to mess around and explore all that a woman has insider (sic) her (sexually).

That's sexually, ladies—not intellectually.


"last night, in two sex sessions, I gave my girlfriend five orgasms, one of them huge."

There's vegan poetry somewhere on there too!

FUCK nonverbal cues. If everyone used only verbal cues, then there would never be a misunderstanding, an overanalysis, nor the necessity for complex social exchange with unapproachable results. Cut-and-dry, no-nonsense, straight-talking simplicity. Ah, if only...

And finally, in one of the most telling statements of our times:

I don't trust people who aren't on facebook

Don't worry about your postgraduate plans, guys. You all are going to fit into Williamsburg just fiii-iine. We'll continue this discussion at the Charleston!

[Photo: Oberlin]