Blogger and author Tionna Tee Smalls gives advice. Want some? Just ask! Today: coping with premature E (-jaculation).
I need some advice on what to do about my boyfriend of 6 years. He can't have sex for longer than 3 minutes before he cums, even with a condom. I have tried to explain to him that this is beyond frustrating. I mean I need at least 10 minutes to be satisfied. I'm just at my whits end, I love him and he is a good man I just need better, longer sex. Do you have any ideas on what I can do to help him.
Dear '6 year loving and he keeps on cummin' (I made this name up),
This is such a complicated situation. You have been with a man for many years and he doesn't satisfy your sexual needs because his behind cums too fast. [Ed: Give it a minute.] Damn, this one is a hard one. There are a couple of things that could be going on. The first one that comes to my mind is maybe he is selfish. You have men out here that do not care if a woman gets hers, as long as they gets theirs. But for some reason, I don't believe that is the case here.
Maybe you bore him so much that he just want to get in and get right. Maybe you don't give it to him often enough, so that when he does get it, he gets a little too excited. My other thought is, maybe he has a problem, you know like a sexual dysfunction. Maybe he is suffering from what we call Premature Ejaculation Syndrome (you can't even look at the dick long enough before he starts cummin).
Premature Ejaculation Syndrome is the most common sexual problem in men. Damn. There are many men in the world who suffer from this same disorder (thank God I never met any of them) so don't give up hope. There are treatments your man could go through to get rid of this harsh syndrome, because you, my dear, need some good sex. And damn, you're not asking for much- you said all it takes is at least 10 minutes. Hell, a woman who could get satisfied in 10 minutes of penetration? You can't beat that with a stick. So I am going to help you.
I won't tell you to leave him, because then you will meet some loser with some good sex and a smile who won't have the great qualities your man does have. So I say trick him into paying for some help and if he doesn't want to do it, then get rid of the chump because life is too short to be dealing with Mr. cum-too-quickly.
You said he gives you three minutes of the dingaling, please! To get all hot and horny just for three minutes? You're better off popping yourself.
Here are his options. They have creams that desensitize him against the pleasureable feeling of being in the catbag. They have anti-depressants. Hell, they even have cocaine! I don't advise him doing that, but he has to do something.
It seems to me like you have told him about the problem and he refuses to get help. If he wanted to get help, he would have gotten some help like five years ago when you guys first started getting it popping. Sex is what I call 80% of a relationship, without sex all your mate is to you is a brother or sister. No one likes to say this, but being sexually compatible with your mate is very important and without it your relationship is doomed. He has to understand that what he doesn't do, the next man will do happily and willingly. I don't know how he feels as a man when you guys discuss this. Maybe he thinks it's all in your head since he survived this long with the old shooting gun.
I must say you have a lot more patience than I have. I broke up with the love of my life because he wasn't getting my motor running. But hey, that was when I was young. If that was happening now, I'd probably engage myself in some extracurricular activities. I am not an advocate for cheating but come on, you have to get it off some kind of way and it sounds like to me like you are tired of getting yourself off.
If your man has other problems, I give you the green light to stray. Having a man with bad sex and an attitude is enough to make any woman go crazy so think about all of your options- get him some help, cheat, or be out. The choice is yours but make sure you make the right decision for yourself.
Girl, I feel for you because now that I think back to my sexual escapades, I did have sex with a man who came faster than a speeding bullet. But I don't think he had a syndrome, I think he just didn't give a shit about satisfying a woman. You know sex is mental so that's what it was in his case. Damn, that ish right there is so frustrating so God Bless you if you decide to keep this one. I just hope this doesn't go on forever.