Conan O'Brien To Help Masturbating Bear Survive The Writers Strike

· Sports-specialist writer/director Ron "Bull Durham/Tin Cup/Cobb" Shelton will helm a movie about steroid-enhanced home run king Barry Bonds based on the book Game of Shadows for HBO Films, a cinematic journey through Bond's clear-and-cream-lubricated pursuit of Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron that Shelton and his writing partner plan to undertake after the conclusion of the writers strike. [Variety]
· The heads of some media conglomerates are trying not to ruin their relationships with the writers they'll one day have to collaborate with by biting their tongues during the strike, resisting the tantalizing impulse to publicly brand them as "greedy residual monkeys" whenever contacted for comment about the ongoing labor dispute. [THR]

· Conan O'Brien will attempt to keep about 80 of his show's non-writing staff financially afloat during the strike by paying their salaries "for the foreseeable future," a move that he hopes will keep beloved characters like the Masturbating Bear and Horny Manatee from having to sell their bodies to predatory sex-tourists prowling Rockefeller Plaza. [Variety]
· Oh yeah, that other strike is over after only 19 days. [THR]
· The WGA East and ABC have reached a tentative deal to cover 250 or so of the network's news employees, who were authorized to strike, but had not yet hit the picket lines.. [Variety]