I Feel Bad About Your Earlobes, Butt, Stomach, and Ill-Fitting Bra (This Week)

Since Monday, NYC women have been assaulted by a clusterfuck of articles pointing out our possible body inadequacies—more than usual, actually! In fact, it's utterly confusing for us gals to figure out which flaw to hate the most. Has femiladyism taken a step backward, or is this just what inevitably happens right before the December glut of top ten lists hits next week?

Obviously, there was the duly noted Spanx explosion/debacle.
But there are other, more pressing problems for urban women: possibly your "flaccid, exposed [ear]lobes." Yeah, you might want to get that taken care of. Or is the real issue your ill-fitting bra? New York magazine temporarily morphed into Cosmo with its "Everything Guide to Bras." Except, we've read this article about eight times already. When we were fourteen. Like: Did you know you're supposed not supposed to wear the same bra two days in a row? Yawn.

And is it even possible that a city of grown women well-versed in the intricacies of different types of bikini waxing still can't buy the right size bra? How hard is it, right? After all, what else were Seventeen and YM training us for all those years?