Blue States Lose because while their residents are running around in eyeliner and panties on the outside of their pants and SPARKLY HATS, the red state people are building houses and making industry and going to block meetings and wars! WE SUCK. Here's some pictures from the suckitude, collected from Cobrasnake and Last Night's Party and Nicky Digital by Alex Blagg!
8. Last Night's Party. Los Moscow photo #7177: I don't know, I guess I feel like her "giant flaming skull with eagle wings" chest tattoo just doesn't really go with that Victoria's Secret Valentine's Day bra with hearts all over it.
6. Last Night's Party. The Hills photo #5687: If you've ever wanted to do it with a saucy hipster college chick in leather pants on top of some Puerto Rican's Toyota Corolla, you're really going to enjoy this picture.
5. Nicky Digital. Partying All Night Long video: Do you like "partying"? Do you also enjoy hotel rooms? Then perhaps you will want to watch this video of some random people "partying" in a hotel room.
4. Last Night's Party. The Hills photo #8064: Dear guy on the left-hand side of this picture - your hat is amazing. The multitude of colors and skulls and words written in DJ-fonts emblazoned upon this mesh headpiece favored by transportation industry professionals tells me that you're a man with a superior sense of sophistication and style. It's really no wonder you get to hang out with such awesome people.
3. The Cobrasnake. Bandits On The Run photo #9814: There should be a Saturday morning cartoon about these two called "Dweezle and Big Red", where they live together and get into crazy adventures trying to pull things over on Winston the Wackymart manager, and hijinx ensue.
2. Last Night's Party. The Hills photo #8642: Listen, weird mystical scenester guy: I enjoyed those 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies too. Johnny Depp's whole "Mick Jagger-as-pirate" shtick is pretty awesome, but that doesn't mean we should all run out and start dressing ourselves up like Johnny Depp. He can get away with the whole "Parisian bohemian poet from the 30's" thing because he's Johnny Depp, but when you do it, everyone just rolls their eyes and thinks you're an asshole.
1. Last Night's Party. Los Moscow photo #7179: Man, I wish you guys would start a shitty indie rock/punkclash/danceska band with a retarded name like "Sausage Chins" and make god-awful music about thrift store shopping and shit. Oh, you already did? I never would have guessed that.