Queen Latifah Urges Fans Not To Send Their Lesbian-Wedding Gifts Just Yet

Having, like the rest of us, caught wind of a story circulating that Queen Latifah was finally going to make an honest woman out of her longtime personal-training companion, a Sun Times reporter at a junket for The Perfect Holiday gathered the nerve to ask the actress/torch singer/hip-hop architect whether the rumors were true:

I did ask Queen Latifah for reaction to recent tabloid gossip that she allegedly was going to wed her long-time female personal trainer.
She quipped, ''When you're famous these days, it's just part of the deal — unfortunately. People will make up all sorts of things that are not true. . .There ain't gonna be no wedding.''

Ain't gonna be no wedding: Five meticulously selected words that instantly dispelled all the Home Depot-registry rumors, while leaving the door conveniently cracked open for a nearly infinite array of romantic configurations for the great Mama Morton. Would that all much-whispered-about Hollywood heavyweights handle themselves with such aplomb when pressed such as this, perhaps we'd never be forced to swallow a great many unlikely claims, such as Travolta Airways's pledge that every Business Class fare includes free DirecTV and a personal smooch from the captain.