Crisis! Kindergarten Legacy Admission Tradition Defiled!S

What's this? Manhattan's private schools are dispensing with the legacy advantage? No longer will younger siblings be assured admission into Dalton, Spence or Collegiate by surfing the coattails of their older (smarter!) enrolled brothers and sisters? Cripes! At Columbia Grammar, so many siblings of current students have applied this year, that few—wait for it—"outside" boys will be accepted. "I'm not going to say a number, because I don't want to set off any more panic out there than there already is," the admissions director there told the New York Sun. "It's not a joke anymore," a private admissions advisor told the paper. "If you have a sibling, you'd be crazy not to apply to a number of schools. You'd be nuts not to do that." Other ways to know you're out of your tree? You find yourself using terms generally used to describe plagues, disasters and other mass calamities during an interview with a reporter about kindergarten.