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Andre Birleanu, the angry Russian who has spent a season on VH1's America's Most Smartest Model valiantly attempting to prove that being photogenic doesn't necessarily preclude knowing stuff like the square root of nine or how to correctly use the word "preclude," is now undoing any progress made with his complaint that the higher-ups at the net are "destroying" his career. Come on, Andre, you know what photosynthesis is and you don't know that stints on third-tier reality television tend to ruin their participants? Don't they teach you that in the radioactive pro-Communism indoctrination shelter where Moscovites go to high school? We learn this stuff in eighth grade. From Page Six:

Birleanu was arrested Oct. 25 after two women claimed he molested them at Cipriani Downtown. He said VH1 has instructed him not to respond to the allegations.

Birleanu griped, "VH1 has not allowed me to comment to the press or to clear my name. They tell me not to say anything, but then they don't stand up for me."

He said that the bad press has already cost him some high-profile modeling gigs. "I lost a billboard campaign in the middle of Times Square for South Pole. I lost a photo shoot with Target, and a Calvin Klein ad . . . it has been terrible for my career," he grumbled.

"Molested" them? Can you even do that to barflys? Isn't it just girl scouts? And why is Calvin Klein dropping someone accused of drunken molestation? Haven't they done ads with Vincent Gallo? Andre's lawyer is alleging a "conspiracy" against his client. Cops, man. Always conspiring to prevent models from molesting. (Sorry, we still can't get over it.)