Fiercely Protective, Completely Absent Mother Defends Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan should be thanking her lucky sugar tits, as her collapse on the set of Georgia Rule and subsequent public flogging by the movie's producer have come to seem like sweet-natured career missteps in comparison to other recent, alcohol-related events. THR reported over the weekend that Lohan was back at work the next day, greeted by cast and crew with the awkward presentation of a half-melted ice cream cake reading "Welcome Back From Your Prompt Dehydration Recovery, Li[unintelligible]." Ultimate Cool Party Mom Dina Lohan, meanwhile, railed at Robinson in an Access Hollywood interview for unfairly assailing her frail, asthma-suffering, 19-year-old daughter. (Lohan turned 20 on July 2.)

"The wording was ridiculous." When asked if she thought the executive, James G. Robinson, was out of line and what brought on the unprecedented blast, Dina said, "I feel when you are 19 (years old) it is way out of line... Maybe he has personal issues with whomever and it came out with my child. I don't know him. I can't judge him. I don't think it was a smart thing to do to a young girl."

When asked if there was any truth to claims in the letter, Dina came to her daughter's defense saying, "Lindsay was in 105 (degree weather) saying, 'Mommy, I feel sick; like I am going to faint.' She took herself to the hospital. She has asthma and in extreme cold or heat you can't breathe." [...]

"Lindsay gets to work late, OK... She's a human being. There was one day when she was late and they worked the schedule around her. Garry (Marshall, the film's director), Jane (Fonda, her co-star), everybody loves her." [...]

"As far as Lindsay's health is concerned, she's fine and she is back on set." Dina added to Bush, "She will win an Academy Award for this picture... Justice!"

As that early, confident prediction sets Oscar-watching oddsmakers scrambling to assess its viability—the Academy traditionally has been reluctant to recognize fellative excellence—the Lohan Girls have been going on with life as usual. Dina was mentioned in today's Page Six for her own, recent midlife-crisis-related escapades, while Lindsay was seen partying in Vegas this weekend—though in a firm indication that this wake-up call wasn't completely lost on her, she also went out of her way to make sure she was photographed in Malibu partaking of the restorative benefits of an apple and Arizona green tea beverage.