'Forbes' Ranks Hollywood's Most Powerful People In Diapers Who Aren't Sumner Redstone

Hot on the heels of their merciless takedown of Tinseltown's most overpaid, the intrepid list-makers at Forbes are turning to the tots as they ask: Who's really the most influential drooling, mute, self-soiling celebrity baby? Lest you think this is some sort of metaphor, let us present—Hollywood's Most Influential Infants. You might think that ranking babies is too insane to be quantifiable, but rest assured that Forbes used an infallible algorithm in their computations:

"To determine which tykes were tops, we looked at both Web presence and press clippings for more than 50 A-list offspring (5 years old and younger) over the course of a year.
Then, with a whittled-down list, we reached out to Encino, Calif.-based polling firm E-Poll Market Research for both awareness data for the kids and consumer-appeal rankings for their celebrity parents."

The winner? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, duh! The influence of Brangelina's biological spawn is far reaching: babies around the world gleefully imitate her every move, from napping several times a day, to making noise when they want juice, and crying when dogs bark too loud. When it comes to setting trends, Shiloh sets the standard. Other babies of note: Suri Cruise (the babies-only craze for smiling when someone makes goo-goo sounds and tickles you is widely attributed to her alone), Sean Preston Federline (filled diapers are his signature). and Zahara Jolie-Pitt (nowadays, every orphan in Africa wants to be adopted by famous millionaires).