Apologies for our slower-than-usual start; we've been dealing with a technical issue that makes an already half-lucid Monday morning all the more fun. (A tip we read on Lifehacker but nonetheless ignored: Repeatedly screaming "Fuck you, devil box!" at your computer is generally an ineffective troubleshooting technique.)

Also, you failed to scare off Jarrett Grode during his Friday guest-editing stint, so he's back today to give Seth a day off. Please continue showering him with affection so that he doesn't run screaming from the Movable Type window by lunchtime. (You know how these performer types crave positive reinforcement.)