Dear all dudes who work at Goldman Sachs: We're in. Let's roll. Seriously, if you're taking home $600K (on average) for Christmas, we are all willing to stay home and tend the plants on the terrace and make you dinner and we don't really care if you're a schlub who thinks therapy is for wusses and you have five asthmatic dachshunds and self-loathing. Fine! Yes you, Steven Schukei, 30, VP of technology—you win New York!