The Weddings and Celebrations in the Sunday 'New York Times' are a textual analysis-rebuffing, context-free and statistically random series of events described objectively that have nothing to do with the fact that you're single and still using that one dirty towel after you shower. You HUMAN FILTH. Intern Alexis judges the vows.

Which is more matrimonabulous: Having the judge you once clerked for officiate at your wedding—or mentioning in your announcement that you were among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor? Let's see, shall we?

Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal Are A Success!

Sandra Gelbard & Tony Uzan

Couple married at the Waldorf-Astoria: +2
Dr. Gelbard-Uzan, 35, is an internist in private practice in New York; she specializes in cholesterol management, weight loss and preventive medicine. She is also a clinical instructor of medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital, and was among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor: +13
Tony is a managing consultant with the global business services division of I.B.M.: +2
He has an MBA from Northestern; She has a medical degree from SUNY Stonybrook: +2
Tony is over 35: -1

Total: 18

Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal Are A Success!

Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal

The bride and bridegroom met at Harvard, from which they both received law degrees, she cum laude and he magna cum laude: +10
Alixandra graduated magna cum laude from Harvard: +4
Daniel graduated magna cum laude from Amherst: +2
Alixandra is a law clerk in the Newark chambers of Judge Julio M. Fuentes of the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit: +2
Mr. Richenthal, 30, is a litigation associate in the New York office of Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr, the Washington law firm: +2
Judge Robert D. Sack of the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit officiated at the wedding. The bridegroom had served as his law clerk from 2005 to 2006: +5
His mother is a teacher at the Hi-Ho School, a nursery school in Bedford. His father is a partner in Richenthal, Abrams & Moss, a New York law firm bearing his name: +4

Total: 29