Creative Commons plot exposed

Why is it so hard to figure out Creative Commons? A paranoid explains:

At some point in 2009, the Creative Commons people are going to reveal that every single one of their licenses actually forbids any use at all, even LOOKING at a CC web page, and does so in such a way that it indemnifies Disney, Microsoft and Google for every page on the Internet. The resulting $463 billion settlement will make Boing Boing's editors the wealthiest 4.5 people in the galaxy.
All I ask is that they kill us last.