I don't really like to stoop to making fun of stories. You know why? Because I've written so many bad ones myself! Hi-o! Hell, everyone does! And also, who cares? That aside, it's safe to say I may never get over this opening paragraph in the Times metro section: "Across the city, delis and bodegas are a familiar and vital part of the streetscape, modest places where customers can pick up necessities, a container of milk, a can of soup, a loaf of bread." INDEED. Whatever, the story is somewhat redeemed because it is about deli cats, which are the most awesome cats in the world and anyone who is against them is EVIL. What would you rather have, the occasional scratch and cat hair on your bagel or RAT-NIBBLED TRISCUITS?