Try the cast of "Top Gun". At least on screen. Male sex disguised as macho bonding!

There ought to be a Day-Timer Calendar of this and I say Mr. Ed should be January 1. And 2.

What's with Tommy's eyes in that photo? Very Village of the Damned.

@priestess: Totally! "Playin' with the boooooys..."

Everyone knows Tom's a top. Just ask him.

@PimpMyCouch: a moment of silence for the volleyball scene, please.

...

(choire, I love!! the phrase "my stars, woman!")

Like searching for hay in a haystack.

Tom = Top? Don't be ridiculous. We all know Nicole stuck it to him with a strap on at least once

He really needs to tame that cunt.

@LolCait: Or pussy. Wait, was it pussy?

I can't believe that he lets them live. You're going to have to sneak into a Scientology cemetery if you want to find them.

Thanks to Tommy Boy's unconvincing hetero-shriek to Oprah, the term "jumping the couch" has replaced "jumping the shark." For that terrific contribution to America's lexicon, we should all be grateful.

ugggh... you pple disguat me... carry on!

@the supergoddess: No mourning from me. I was all like *drool* until I paid attention to the Kenny Loggins song in the background and that just ruined it for me. Now I giggle.

@LolCait: Either or. Or he could superman that ho. Whatever that means.

I always enjoyed the rumor that Rob Thomas' wife walked in on Rob and Tom going at it. I always figured they must have met at a Napoleonic Bearded One-Trick-Ponies Who Can Fit in my Shirt Pocket Convention.

@HeyThatsMyBike: It's true! That event set the I-love-this-woman-Katie-Holmes-even-though I've-known-her-for-10-minutes-machine into motion.

Does Beckham help Tom pick out his clothes sometimes? Because he seems so anal like that, friendship-wise.

My favorite "Tom Topper?" Walnuts in maple syrup.

Interview with a Vampire. That is all.

And so the Bonnie Fuller "accidental" death watch starts... now.

This was enough to get me to create an account at HuffPo. I had in mind a comment on the abysmal life of Bonnie. How vile her existence is. The waste of trees and ink.

But it takes 24 hours to activate said account, and I'll have forgotten about Bonnie's existence after this next bong-hit.

How wonderful for Bonnie that she makes money off these people she hates so much, else the sad twit would have to work for a living.

Look at you, Choire! Schooling the children... "gay slang" indeed. Just don't give away everything. Teh "Metrosexuals" are watching...

"Men who have had sex with noted hero actor Tom Cruise"

Nicole Kidman?

This is exciting. I've been collecting tabloid issues with the word "gay" on the cover for years now. But lately, it's just been a lot of "who's gay, who's not" issues. This story would obviously be the, um, top issue in my collection.

Bonnie's got the gift of gab for sure. I hear Tom, however, is not a cunning linguist. ZING!

He looks like a petite Ben Stiller.

@fiveinchtaint: Same as Dave Zinczenko! Crappy femi-head!

@dubiouswonder: Or maybe a wee Ben Affleck?

the scene in 'war of the worlds,' where he's playing catch with his son. nothing more need be said.

@fiveinchtaint: I actually heard he couldn't read, and Kidman had to go over lines with him until he could memorize them, but this may be an urban legend much like his whole being 'straight' thing.

A Top'n Tell?

@bettycrocker: A miniature Zoolander!

@spirit fingers: Almost true. He's dyslexic, so going over scripts again and again would help him.

Bye Bonnie...

I've always just assumed that there's a steady stream of handsome, young (and disposable!) Scientologists lined up for his delectation.