Gawker
I have never paid, and I will never pay, for an "AvantGuild" membership to "freelancer-helping website" Mediabistro. (Also, I hope that I never have to say "AvantGuild" aloud. What the HELL construction is that?) So I will never read this story by Greg Lindsay about how hard it is for him to write his book. The story's deck is: "From borrowing from John McPhee to 'guarding his headspace' our writer fights to pass the 25,000-word mark." All of those things sound really bad! Unless he's in Princeton, borrowing John McPhee's pencil or something? Anyway, if anyone would like to read and summarize, please do. Also, I would like to meet him some time. Mr. McPhee, not Greg Lindsay. I've already met Greg. He wears nice clothes and is friendly. I gave my mom "Oranges" over Thanksgiving, and guess what? She loved it too. Now I am trying to read that one about the bark canoes and also the one about cattle-rustling. But reading, Greg Lindsay, is almost as hard as writing—I say that as someone who actually finished "Annals of the Former World," and where is my medal?—and don't you forget it.
Off the Ground: A Journo Logs Writing His First Book, Part IV [Mediabistro] [Image: Nina Katchadourian]
Comments
Now give me this again: who do ve vant killed?
@KarenUhOh: Human discourse.
Wow, we are really playing out the string this week.
@LolCait: Vich course?
5th
@Greg Lindsay: as;ldfjkasdl;fkjasdlkf3w4jtisadaf
OMG, you guys. Haa! Listen to the e-mail message I just got:
"Madam. . ."
At least it wasn't a "Family Guy" clip?
It is with a deep and abiding shame that I confess to buying an AvantGuild membership. BUT! Only because I thought you could get Lexis for something like 60 dollars a month. Then I find out you can only get Nexis (just the news)--not Lexis--with the membership. So, fuck you, Touby. I want a refund. And not in "boa bucks."
@Choire: I am just going to come right out and ask if you're high today.
Novel-writing tips. Drink. Write. Throw up. Pass out.Wake up and delete the embarrassing shit. Repeat this procedure as needed. Seen that way, 25,000 words is little more than a few liters of Chivas and couple dozen rolls of Bounty paper towells.
@lawyergay: But boa bucks are so useful for purchasing great things like tickets to Menopause: The Musical. And, shame.
I didn't think 'Annals of the Former World' was that much of a trial to read. He did a good job of making the geologists characters and they all interesting lives that were a natural narrative arc.
Greg Lindsay, though, I've never heard of before.
@timbnyc44: Yeah, sure! But can YOU tell me now the difference between the fucking Devonian and the Ordovician? And if you can it's because you're a FREAK. (A freak of NATURE! Ha.) Something something Gondwana! Extinction event! It's not him, it's me: I just can't retain.
@LolCait:
Hope it's better than Prostatitis: The Pastiche.
Way to go Choire! We're really running the gamut today. You're bringing so much news ( You weren't responsible for that Lohan mishap earlier, right?); Beckham, Cruise (I'm actually boycotting Cruise, that dude's name is freaking Mapother), NYC crime, socialites, now high brow literature. Class is fucking in session! Kneel thee all to Choire, making us smarter, one gawk at a time.
@lawyergay: I joined for the health insurance. They sent me a link to ehealthinsurance.com, which offered the same rates they give everybody else.
@Choire: Oh, hell, no. I agree, you need repetition to retain that kind of stuff, and how many geology books are any of us likely to read in our lifetimes? Maybe McPhee should have done a series of books with the same content but different framing stories. Eventually, we would have gotten it.
@timbnyc44: What we need more of is edumacation. :( Now, ask me to recall the specifics of the nuclear fission McPhee book, and I can basically build a working reactor in then minutes. (If you can build a reactor out of cigarette butts.)
Please tell me he doesn't sit at that twee writing desk in the picture. That would just be too perfect.
I'm ten pages into a book. The hardest part is not getting distracted by HGTV. It probably sucks, but my lack of talent is the second-biggest obstacle next to Generation Renovation.
@LolCait: @TedSez: For 100,000 boa bucks, Laurel Touby will personally perform an exploratory laparotomy on you using just the items in her top desk drawer.
This clown should feel reassured that most of his few dozen readers will also struggle to get past the 25,000 word mark.
I made the mistake of paying for an "AvantGuild" membership. I noticed that now they automatically include a subscription to WIRED--because nobody fucking reads it. I canceled my subscription and got $8, which is still worth more than a year of WIRED.
@crookedlawyer: Don't have any TV on but football when you write. With football you only have to look over when the ball is snapped or else you can catch the instant replay.
@LolCait: You need to purchase shame? I generally get mine for free.
@Choire: Indeed, what would be the point of working between Christmas and New Year's if you couldn't get wasted at the same time? No pro blogger is sober this week.
You know what also sucks? Writing hack articles and blog entries and then attempting to write something good.
john mcphee made me love geology.
nina katchadourian made me love stacking books into poems. sigh.
25,000 words is a novel? @Michael Jahn: Don't forget watching all 7 seasons of Buffy during the 'breaks'.
Annals of the Former World rocks! heh. And as for "Ordovician," please go to Woot.com now.
Choire, you'll make someone a great Jewish mother someday.
Exactly!
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