Sean Connery isn't just a smooth and dashing Scot, he's also a compulsively litigious thorn in the side of New York State Supreme Court Justice Marcy Friedman. It seems the septuagenarian is engaged in an endless game of "Suit, Countersuit" with his neighbor, in an enmity-charged relationship not seen since Bond thwarted Dr. No. Appropriately, his neighbor's name is Mr. Sultan:
The legal dispute between Sean Connery and his downstairs neighbors has a fed-up judge telling both sides to cool it.
In court papers, Burton Sultan calls his neighbor Connery, 77, the antithesis of the suave secret agent he played in numerous James Bond films, branding him "a bully who ignores norms of neighborliness and decency" in the town house they share.
In a decision made public Wednesday, State Supreme Court Justice Marcy Friedman tossed out many of the Sultans' claims but slammed the Connerys for what she called their "blunderbuss" legal salvos.
blunderbuss (n) : a short musket of wide bore with expanded muzzle to scatter shot, bullets, or slugs at close range.
You need a concealed-carry licence to pack a blunderbuss under your duster in California.
salvo (n) : a simultaneous discharge of fire weapons
From forth my blunderbuss did issue a salvo; it's report echoed from the Grove parking lot to the Chipotle in the Farmer's Market.
Justice (n) : a wildly overrated Daft Punk rip-off act
Goddamnit, Connery's blaring Justice again. What a raver. My blunderbuss is out of ammo. Hand me my flame thrower.