Cornell University is training its janitors in the fine art of spotting suicidal college students! "These kids are looking to us to provide care," one such eagle-eyed custodian tells the Wall Street Journal today. "But they don't see administrators every day, they see me." The maintenance worker noticed she was cleaning up one student's vomit on a regular basis and reported the girl might be suffering from an eating disorder. Okay Cornell, we know you're all sensitive about your famous Suicide Ridge and we applaud your efforts at challenging the standard of university mental health care, but come on now! Interfering with the crusade for the perfect spring break Cabo beach bod is just not cool.