So Laurel Touby says she came home from the sale of her allegedly freelance-journalist-helping website Mediabistro.com with $9 to $11 million after taxes. (Really? What about those investors? Hmm.) She tells the Times: "'I had all kinds of illusions about how far the money would go and what I would enjoy, but they're not true,' Ms. Touby said. 'I thought, 'O.K., a car and driver and a new apartment and a whole new life.' In fact, I can only afford two out of three.'" Um, which two would that be? Anyway, here is an example of not to do with that kind of windfall: "She remains determined to buy a Manhattan loft apartment, which will consume half her money, and must still earn $100,000 a year to maintain it, she said." Wow, bad call, sister.