My Top 8 Greatest Achievements At Gawker

Readers love lists, according to the Gawker Media Editorial Guide. So, on the occasion of my last day here, you're bound to love this list of the best things I ever did at this website! Yoga teaches us that within our greatest failings, our greatest strengths can be found. Breathe deeply and enjoy.

1) I coined a term for thirtysomething ladies who walk four abreast down cramped sidewalks on their way to drink colorful martinis and muse about their lovelives: Scary Sadshaws. Maybe this is immodest, but I think it is maybe a more important "word of 2007" than "lolcat," even.
2) Along the same line: the telltale signs of unloved aloneness that infest Scary Sadshaws' apartments are called singlefiers. My apartment contains many singlefiers, but only one cat at the moment!
3) It's possible that these coinages and confessions set back the cause of femiladyism.
4) On our 2007 Staff Retreat, Doree and I had an im conversation predicting that Noah Baumbach would direct the movie version of Claire Messud's fun novel 'The Emperor's Children.' This prediction came true. Will our casting suggestions also be heeded? Stay tuned!
5) On live TV, I espoused the theory that celebrities are protected from real-life stalkers by their enormous "piles of money." The greatest failing/greatest strength thing comes into play here.
6) The pun in the top tag of this post is my favorite joke I've ever made.
7) Besides this trenchant 9/11 observation, that is.
8) I quit!

So, that was the last year of my life. I'd like to thank everyone I worked with, most especially Choire Sicha, the man who taught me right from wrong and weak from strong—that's a lot to learn. Alex Balk and Doree Shafrir are my heroes. Josh, we had a time. I will always remember the time we sang "Mr. Jones" by the Counting Crows in the office and found especial meaning in the line "we all wanna be big big stars, but we've got different reasons for that." I felt so symbolic!

Thank you also to everyone who read my overshares and sent sympathetic or even chidey emails. I suspect that I'll miss all of it eventually. If you miss me, you will find me writing sometimes in some capacity at Jezebel, and also who knows where else. Oh, and also my waspish novel about working at Gawker comes out in Fall '09. J/k!