Crazy Yoga-Lady Elisa Kicked Off Project Runway

Well, we're a little late on this one. This night shift completely fucks up our Project Runway watching experience. But! Ending a holiday rut of reruns, the first new episode of Proj Run was on on Wednesday night and it was kind of amazing. "Amazing" might not be the right word. What's the word when a hero of yours, someone like Tim Gunn, completely debases themselves in front of the altar of some capitalist god-head, like, for instance, Hershey's Chocolate, in some sort of poorly disguised ruse, maybe like asking designers to create a look out of Hershey's candy wrappers and products? Oh right. It's called Bravo TV! While watching the horribly staged reactions when the designers first laid eyes on the horrendous aesthetic nightmare of the Times Square Hershey's Store was something that will stick with us for a long time, there were some wonderful moments. Actually a lot of them.

First of all, Elisa! She almost died in a car accident! She was in a coma! Her neck was broken! Every snarky thing we thought about her we retract. On the other hand, what language did she say goodbye in? Isn't it a little annoying she used some dead tongue no one understands? On the other hand (back in the original one) it's probably also annoying for Heidi to say Auf Wiedersehen instead of Goodbye. At the end of the day though Elisa's dress was miserable.

Lighting Round: Romy, that Israeli designer, is almost certainly going to win this season. Also, is he straight?

Christian, the faggy one with the Gehry hair, is a little bitch and so annoying. I think I pinpointed what annoys me the most about him. He has this clipped rapid-fire way of speaking and bitchy deliverance that almost fools you into thinking what he says is clever or witty but it actually isn't. He's got the kind of Wildian linguistic form down while lacking, completely, any of the content that made Wilde's barbs worth repeating. Also, as per the teaser for the next episode, Ricky the piranha-faced mesh-hat gay cries again! Please, Heidi, Michael, Nina, remove him from the show.