It turns out Britney Spears might not technically be nutso. She's actually just "under the influence of an unknown substance." Of course, that unknown substance could be a vial of pure 100% Crazy! For the amazing part of the world that is Southern California, this is like 9/11 and just like 9/11, the newscasters have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Defamer has some pretty good videos too, in which one can hear a paparazzo salivate with glee at getting a clean shot of Britney's driveway. Yay, America!

Contact information for this author is not available.