Britney Spears, as you may have heard, took a relaxing ambulance ride to Cedars Sinai Hospital last night, where some nice people in white coats are currently busy trying to douse the flames of her latest attempt at self-immolation. (Meanwhile, some not-so-nice people will be deciding how much time should pass it's safe for her to have a playdate with the children she has a hard time raising even between breakdowns.) Above, a helpful AP video can quickly orient you on the story, then quickly return you to a disoriented state with images of crazed paparazzi chasing Spears on her journey to the hospital. Below, a round-up of various outlets' attempts at parsing her mental state:

· Placed on a "72-our mental lockdown" (or the more technical-sounding "5150 Hold"), Spears will be under close watch for the next three days in an attempt to ensure that she doesn't try to harm herself, try to escape the hospital to begin a search of local Starbucks for her missing kids, or squeeze her body into a leather bikini and fishnet ensemble to perform a woozy recreation of her career-ending VMA performance for the swarm of paparazzi assembled in the Cedars parking lot. [People]
· During her fun-filled ride to the hospital, "They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics." Also, speculates a source: "I guess she has good days and bad days - it's mental instability. All she has is to think of something sad and she goes crazy." [Us]
· Still a little confused about how the tragic events of last night unfolded? Here's a handy timeline! [Us]
· This will inevitably become the defining image of The Night That Britney Finally Hit Rock-Bottom, At Least Until She Figures Out A Way To Drill Through That Rock Bottom, Then Jump Through The New Hole While Clutching Her Kidnapped Children And A Garbage Bag Full Of Pills. [TMZ]
· Oh, did we mention that the kids are safe with K-Fed? We probably should, lest you fear some distracted paramedics forgot to make sure someone would keep an eye on them while mommy was busy being strapped to that gurney. [People]