Blind Items, lou dobbs, blind item guessing game, cnn, huffpo

Name That Childish CNN Anchor

According to her HuffPo bio, "Linda Keenan worked 7 years as a head writer/senior producer for various programs on CNN. Before that, she worked as a writer/producer for Bloomberg TV." Now she's a mommyblogger. Which makes her more than qualified to present a series of amusing blind items about childish behavior by famous television newsanchors. After the jump, we solicit your guesses and present a couple of ours.

This anchor farts a lot!
"This person has been nicknamed 'Cranky Pants' by his caretakers."
"This person's caretaker has had to remove carrot shreds from his lunch because he 'hates orange food - no orange food!'"
"This person turns beet-red, balls up his fists and screams when he is read something he doesn't like."
"This person just up and ran away from his caretakers, leaving them terrified and heartbroken."

To be honest, we're guessing Lou Dobbs for pretty much all of them. He just seems like a "cranky pants." Though the last one might have a better answer—which CNN (or Bloomberg, why not!) anchor made a habit of disappearing "without warning, not showing up or calling in for days, weeks, never to return"?

Toddler Or Anchor? I Report, You Decide [HuffPo]

2:43 PM on Fri Jan 4 2008
By Pareene
4,424 views
16 comments

Comments

KarenUhOh at 02:52 PM on 01/04/08
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Connectedness Index: 897

Can't help you, but this is a spot-on rendition of what happened the last time I ate lunch while watching Wolf Blitzer.
lindaerinkeenan at 02:55 PM on 01/04/08
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hey i forgot to mention in my bio that im also an amazingly catty bitch. which also makes me more than qualified to write this piece. mommy hugs from linda k.
TVAddendum at 02:55 PM on 01/04/08
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Obvs Jack Cafferty. Although thoughts of nicknaming Soledad O'Brien "Cranky Pants" (in my mind) raises her to Jessica Savitch hotness-ity
mathnet at 02:56 PM on 01/04/08
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Is "caretaker," like, a universal TV news job title?
eastvillageidiot at 02:58 PM on 01/04/08
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Duh... it's Larry King, duh. He even audibly farted on the air once.
TVAddendum at 03:10 PM on 01/04/08
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#4 def isn't larry king. He's so afraid of another heart attack, he even limits his blinking to minimize exertion.
Furious George at 03:14 PM on 01/04/08
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Now that my commenting abilities seem to have returned, I'm going to second (ugh, should have been FIRST!) the nomination for Larry King.

Let's look at the facts, shall we?

(a) This person is cranky (duh)

(b) This person has attendant staff referred to as "caretakers" (Larry is ANCIENT!)

(c) This person has developed an aversion to specific food colors -- an eccentricity that can be cultivated only after having lived in LA (again: LK)

(d) This person is gassy (double duh)

QED, Larry King.
OMGeorge at 03:20 PM on 01/04/08
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I was really hoping that Anderson Cooper kept it together off camera. I guess not.
TheHonJudgeSmails at 03:23 PM on 01/04/08
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Connectedness Index: 935

It's definitely Christiane Amanpour.
bleet at 03:31 PM on 01/04/08
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Linda Keenan is a catty bitch and that's why I love her!
SeanTay at 03:32 PM on 01/04/08
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Are there any websites out there for MBILFs?
larrydarrell at 03:34 PM on 01/04/08
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katie couric - i know, she's not on cnn, but it's fun to think about anyway, especially the nose-picking part.
econdave at 04:36 PM on 01/04/08
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This third one is definitely Dobbs if you replace "orange" with "Mexican".
DorothyMantooth at 05:07 PM on 01/04/08
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@thehonjudgesmails2: But "crankypants" sounds sophisticated when she says it.
NikkidNYC at 05:58 PM on 01/04/08
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1 is Larry King
4 is Aaron Brown
6 is Lou Dobbs
7 could be Anderson Cooper
richardmarxhatesmyhair at 07:41 PM on 01/04/08
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Connectedness Index: 119

Nancy Grace farts on cue.