Rent The Wonderland Murders House For Just Three Grand A Month!

Because Defamer is committed to making its readers aware of exciting local real estate opportunities each time a red-hot tip lands in our inbox, we direct you to this listing announcing the availability of an historic two-bed/two-bath property nestled in a highly desirable cranny of Laurel Canyon:

$3000 / 2br - 2 bed 2bath laurel canyon on wonderland CHARMING 2 BED 2 BATH HOME NEW STOVE, REFRIGERTOR, WASHER AND DRY, FRENCH DOORS ON BOTH BALCONYS WHICH LEAD TO LIVING ROOM WITH HDWOOD FLOORS, SPLIT LEVEL WITH HI BEAM CEILINGS.NEW RUGS.
KITCHEN VERY QUIANT, CHARMING COVERED PATIO WITH EASY TO MAINTAIN AREA FOR PLANTS AND BBQ STUFF,, YOU MUST SEE IT !!CALL REBECCA 805 xxx-xxxx TO SEE IT...WILL SHOW ON WED.2ND OF JAN 08..NOON TO TWO...OWNER WILL TAKE APPLICATIONS.. MUST HAVE GOOD CREDIT AND REF LOCALLY. 8763 WONDERLAND AVE.IS ADDRESS

Did we forget to mention that this "charming" split-level abode just might have been the setting of a teensy-weensy, bludgeoning quadruple homicide involving drug-addled porn star John Holmes? Ah, that's of no concern to those who know an incredible deal when it's presented to them. Considering the property's place in local history—and we hardly need to tell you it's already been immortalized in a well-regarded Val Kilmer vehicle—the $3,000 in rent can easily be recouped in kickbacks from Hollywood Mass Murder Tour guides desperate to give their ghoulish patrons a look at the crime scene, not to mention the supplemental funds that can be generated by an entrepreneurial lessee's establishment of the official Wonderland Murders souvenir shop.