Three guesses as to the identity of the anonymous S.N.L. staffer describing himself this week in the New Yorker's "Talk of the Town" as being "physically incapable of growing a strike beard, or any beard." You really only need one guess—ours is that it's 22-year-old boy wonder Simon Rich, son of Times heavyset heavyweight Frank Rich. Isn't he just positively adorable? Ordering a drink must be a complete nightmare for him. You have to admire the New Yorker for its diligent commitment to pursuing a diverse range of sources. It would be so simple to take the easy way out and gather quotes from friends and colleagues. Like, say, for instance, contributors to the magazine's "Shouts & Murmurs" column!

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