Can you print his phone number? Because I'd like to call and ask him how he could send an e-mail at 11:58 a.m. in L.A. when it's 11:25 a.m. there.

In other news, How To Get By In Darfur For Under $.01 a Week!

@KarenUhOh: It's possible if the recipients were in a different timezone.

Britney WHO????

@KarenUhOh: 213-346-3434 (I think).

Yes, Britney's ass included. It's gotten very big as of late.

I'm continually surprised that both Britney Spears AND the LA Times are still around.

Jamie-Lynn's going to have to poop out an octopus if she wants to get the spotlight back. It's so hard being a younger sibling, y'all!

@KarenUhOh: He sold-out so fast he time traveled?

Totes, Frank! Can they get Britney's thoughtful analysis on the outcome of the NH primaries? Or her opinion on the exit strategies of the leading candidates? Newspapers are so still keeping themselves relevant!

@KarenUhOh: Possibly because he's actually at the time-manipulating Associated Press, not the Times like I said? ANYWAY.

@Aero:
867-5309?

I long for the days when tawdry starlet news was in the gossip-rag ghetto where it belonged.

Quo vadis, MSM?

All for Maggie!!

If I hit refresh 30 times, is that like buying you a drink?

Am I the only person who can totally make out Frank S. Baker's office number?

@Aero: Ah, clearly I'm not.

@Colonel Mustard: Jamie Lynn is saving the announcement that Bruce Willis is really the kid's father for later.

@Koreanish: No, but if you can load the page on 30 different neighbors' computers, I will be totally set!

So Lohan is chopped liver?

@maggie: I've said a lot of mean things over the past few days, but I wanted to let you know that I think you're continuing to do a terrific job!

I flipped past Entertainment Tonight last night (jsut flipped! I swear!) and heard the mustachioed man who is the anchor deliver in a solemn voice to us (I mean their!) thousands of loyal viewers:

"To let our viewers know, we are obligated to follow Britney Spears news as it breaks."

So the LA Times is striving to maintain the same respecatbility as Entertainment Tonight. Way to go, kids.

@TheHonJudgeSmails2: Ditto. Maggie's posts are the only ones I'm still reading.

Your move, Pakistan.

@Aero: My vote is 3134

Leave Barack and Hillary alone!

@maggie: Don't worry about it. No shot aimed at you.

YOU, I love.

@maggie: Ah, view count by IP address. You want a new IP? I can get you a new IP, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

@concerned citizen: Hee!

@xhack: I love the connotation of the word "obligated". Like "Mary Hart has a gun at her head. They'll shoot her if we don't report all Britney, all the time. "

By the way, whatever happened to Stacey Q?

at least this way when she's found unresponsive in her backyard pool, the Times will be ready with it's ET-esque "Brittney; a Life in Review" story.

@TheHonJudgeSmails2: @cherrispryte: Thanks guys. Make a girl's day why don't you.

@concerned citizen:

Goddamn it, that is commie worthy.

And this story is utterly depressing.

@fiveinchtaint: ...yes I do...

@maggie: I'm on the case!

@PimpMyCouch: Exactly. I couldn't stop laughing. And for the last time, I was just flipping through the channels!

Great work Divertor!

All this means is that reporters who can no longer smoke and drink in the city room may now look at pictures of breasts.

@xhack: Sure! Sure. It's ok. Whatever gets you through the night, my friend.

funny, the similar memo was written by denton to his gawker slaves

How does the LA Times staff know which Britney the editor is talking about? Aren't there about 100,000 in the Greater Southern California Metro Area?

How to cultivate a celebrity freakout/rehab check-in through memos, Lesson 1.

"Now, when a trash bag leaves the Spears household, I don't want to that hear Reuters got a hold of it first. Grab it and rifle through it, even if it's still got a few dirty diapers in it from last week. Yes, there may be baby shit in there, but there may be some good shit too - and any shit having to do with Britney these days is serious shit."

AP reporters will probably get a follow-up memo saying they have to pay attention to this Obama fellow from Illinois.

You guys miss UPI, dontcha?

That part they blurred out is what Steve Martin whispered to Claire Danes at the end of Lost In Translation.

@cherrispryte: only DAYTIME one worth reading.

I think this is their roundabout way of saying that odds are really good she's going to croak soon, and they wouldn't want to miss that.

I totally just called Frank Baker. Holy shit.
The number is valid: 213-346-3134.
I just got off the phone with him. I asked how Britney Spears was a big deal and after he asked me who I was (and I told him) and where I was calling from (and I told him) he asked if I was the general public and I said yes.
He then explained that yes the NH primary was a huge story, as was Bhutto's assassination and various other "real" news stories, but that the public wanted to hear about Britney and that they were going to cover it because that's what the public wants.
Then his phone rang and he had to go.
Weird ass shit.
Peace

Great Mother Pussbag! I used to work for that fine organization back when it was a fine organization. How standards have fallen. I got the crap kicked out of me for including the death of Jim Backus (the voice of Mr. Magoo) in a digest. Mr. Magoo, I was told, is not news. Now every time Brittney picks her nose, the AP will be there. Fuck this boring news about the economy, the war, the Mexicans trying to rename the United States...

I have no connection to this memo, but as someone who works in a related field I can tell you by the tone of the memo that this is not a policy change. It was written because some underling slacked off on a story about Britney, missed a deadline, and, when busted, smarted off with a remark like, "what's the big deal, it's just Britney, are we supposed to drop everything to cover every celebrity rumor?"

This is an email written to put everyone on notice that AP writers are not to second-guess the senior editor's decisions on what is important.

@jaded:

Lost in Translations? Wasn't that Bill Murray and Scarlet Johanssen?

No, Fulbrights, there is no mention of the LA Times in the story; this is about the Associated Press, which is 'totes' not a newspaper -- it's a wire service. It delivers news by morse code or something.