- No protective sleeve for press room coffee cup.
- Photo credential only allows you to take pics of booth dudes, not babes.
- Shocks from a designer Taser anytime you roll your eyes at a vendor's use of jargon.
- Mandatory lunch with Scoble and Calacanis.
Interviewees can only answer his questions in machine language.
Required to give the Scobe a pickle-juice and balsamic vinegar sponge bath.
He must report on the next five CESes, no matter how boring they become.
Swag restrictions imposed: free flash drives may not exceed 128MB capacity.