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Though the cancellation of Golden Globes ceremony forced the Hallmark Channel to grudgingly call off its annual after-party, considered by many to be the most debauched in all of Hollywood (2006's orgy honoring Meet the Santas is still spoken of in hushed tones for the five overdosing Saint Nicks who had to be removed from a single bathroom stall at the Riot Hyatt), Globes nominee and A Grandpa for Christmas star Ernest Borgnine decided he would still try and salvage what fun he could from the wreckage of the evening, hosting an intimate gathering at his home. And Access Hollywood was there!

The ever-smiling Hollywood veteran said he was happy to be home instead of wrapped up in the "hullabaloo" of the ceremony, "because if I want a beer or I want a sandwich or whatever, I'm able to get up and go. These people have to sit there and wait until somebody tells them to go pee."

Tension grew as each category was announced. "This is like going into labor, for God sake," Tova said of the long wait.

Finally, the actor's category came up. Jim Broadbent was announced as the winner.

Tova and Nancy Borgnine booed, but Borgnine clapped.

"Hey, I already got one," he said. "I was nominated and I think that's wonderful. You don't have to win them all."

A win would have been good for the Hallmark Channel, he said, "but for me, I've got one. And I've got the big guy, too."

Borgnine's admirable magnanimity in the face of defeat would soon fade, however, as he further contemplated the indignity the HFPA visited upon him in delivering the upset win to Broadbent. Local news crews hoping to get some feel-good footage for their post-awards-show segments soon found themselves documenting an expletive-filled tirade in which the agitated nonagenarian, menacingly swinging around his previously won Oscar and Globe, invited "that Limey dandy" over to his house "settle this like men," pledging that the winner of a best-of-three-falls Indian-leg-wrestling would get to "keep all the goddamn trophies."

[Photo: AP]