"It's like, motherfucker, I'm disappointed in your eardrum-shattering attempt to hit that high C."

Maroon 5 video or art?

Look! It's the international sign for eat my coke pants.

"Tell them, Donnie! It's Hollister, not Forever 21!"

Local Teen, Probable Gay, Charged with Harboring a Terrorist.

This Hand Gesture Is Italian For "Get The Fuck Out Of My Store"

"Wrong Lohan, bitches!!!

I'm beginning to think this guy might be the new boyfriend because if he were her main gay, he'd surely advise her to stop painting herself orange.

Costumer For Lindsay Lohan's New Video Quits Upon Learning Theme: Wet T-Shirt Contest For Pregnant Ladies

Today's Special Re-Cast and Updated for Modern Audiences.

Shopkeeper Immediately Regrets Honest Answer To "Does My Ass Look Fat In These Pants?"

@Clarence Rosario: Perfect.

Viva Los Angeles

"That dude had his hand up inside her this far in the dressing room just now."

@nutmeg: . . .Shout it loud and clear!

Fashion disaster pileup on rodeo drive claims three lives. News at 11.

Lohan Channels the Late Leona Helmsley by Informing the Help: We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.

This is like a gay version of Michael Jackson's "Bad" video:

Because I'm Fab, I'm Fab-
Come On
(Fab Fab-Really, Really Fab)
You Know I'm Fab, I'm Fab-
You Know It
(Fab Fab-Really, Really Fab)

"And we will walk through the fire..."

Lohan's Boyfriend's Shoes Untied

Helpful Shopkeep demonstrates new red carpet sashay for Lohan

@nutmeg: OMG! But who's Jeff?

Mi mi mi mi mi! Oh I wish I never had to go to rehab, that is what I truly wish could be. Oh I wish I never had to go to rehab, then I could stay high as Brit-ney! (sang to the tune of the oscar mayer song, of course).

Lohan trades in her best gay for Jude Law look-alike.

No. You no can haz my gebril!

Dior Employee Busted Making Salmon Cove, Cocaine Deal

Gayface, much?

@fiveinchtaint: FTW!

"I, Wonder Woman, challenge you to a battle of Bullets and Bracelets!"

Lack of "popped" collar, spray-tan cost shopboy starlet's patronage, lamentations ensue.

Lohan Photographed In Tights, White Aviators, Downward Spiral Continues Unchecked.

"Help me! It's your turn to deal with orange celebrities!"

Lohan Attends New Trainee Orientation at The Limited. Lesson One: Ignoring Customers With Flourish, Gayface.

@PimpMyCouch: Haven't decided! Lohan's got a good mannequin look going, but I really think she should be 'Muffy'.

Geez, Bernie, I don't know if letting Bravo remake "The Mod Squad" was a good idea after all.

"Shut Up! I did not bite your arm and scream brains! I'm alive, ALIVE!"

We've secretly replaced Dior salesperson Joachim's Italian Countess customer with Lindsey Lohan. Let's watch....

Dior salesperson balks at Lohan request to shorten couture dress "to here".

that shopkeeper is way too zaftig

LA Toddlers Play "Queer Eye," Interrupted By Parents

Linday's like "Shit, Jesus Freakin Christ, can't I just do my blow in the dressing room already", Boyfriend is like "wow, this is sort of cool and VIP" and Shopkeeper is like "Scram, To the Left, Bitches"

Lindsay has fat ankles. You know what THAT means.

Pee Wee Herman tossed off 'Dream Sickle' video set in Abu Dhabi.