Gawker
Yesterday, we received a poem from someone calling themselves Romantic Danzig, titled "poem for Jessica Joffe because she blocked my email." Whatever! But then we received separate information that Joffe, the glam writer (Vogue! Glamour! Observer alum!) and former Banana Republic model had broken up with scruffy "difficult to work with" NYC musician Ryan Adams. She has been credited with helping Ryan overcome his substance abuse problems. (As you might remember, he's prone to piss-drunk Internet ramblings). The poem, totally/probably written by Ryan, follows—along with his touching explanation.
In no way do I not realize this is insane but I have to try and share somehow. I mean, I am helpless sometimes against wanting to fix the things that were never broken between people. its my nature. its why i play music. so anyway JJ blocked my email. if you like, here is a poem to share. LIGHTHOUSEwhen a woman leaves
she leaves
and leaves
with scents
and all the smells
of the house
when a house is calm
go
with
her
she takes with her the essence
of a place
painting the insides invisibly
while you were not looking
or shall I say, Iwhen a woman leaves
her smells
are small
hells
each much nastier than a sting
burned into your bed
in a fiery ringand with her went the candles too
white ones, delightful ones
lit from time to time
shining
when she left she took the pictures
too
no diety confusion
or something
either way my retinals are masked with shadows of lines of the burn mark of her face inside
tonight i missed
that scent
that smell
which i why i sleep with her sweater
it is still there
fading in the rest of a wooden ship
with a white flag
and battered sail
from storms passed
where calm is now
a lighthouse is a lighthouse with or without
a light
lighthouse
Comments
I would've preferred a haiku.
Great, split that lovely thing into 12 songs and go for yet another 5-albums-worth-of-bullshit year.
Damn. That there's some romance.
When did Rachel Zoe start styling dudes?
Is this post suggesting that Ryan Adams is trying to communicate with his ex via Gawker?
It was the summer of '69!
They do say that poetry is the way to a womans heart. So, points for that. However, when the poetic dictation is the same as the likes of 'See Spot. See Spot run. Run Spot run. Jane sees Spot run', methinks flowers might work better.
This is reminiscent of Leelee Sobieski's touching poem post 9-11:
This Day And All The Rest
One day.
One.
More than another.
The other,
that day,
those people,
too many,
too personal,
but not.
People you know know,
but you yourself know not.
Crashing down,
all frown,
hurting,
walking,
silently screaming,
slowly running,
often feeling nothing.
Seeing the lucky ones fleeing,
seeing those trapped inside.
Cry.
Cry.
It's OK.
It's not OK.
Smile if it's natural
Feel alive.
The president speaks,
The situation reeks an act of war.
I enter my room, close the door
Sit here.
Here where buildings do not fall to the floor.
we young will experience much more
future, liberty, the freedom to mope about in poetry.
My brother I love you.
Old friends and family too.
Safe for now glad to know I'm alive with all of you.
Feel what is real feel later heal.
One.
One person feeling the same as all the rest.
Please let us act and do what is best.
Retinals?
In that photo we see an audition for "High School Musical III."
I don't know if this is supposed to be romantic, or a hilarious put down for her pungent body odour/chronic flatulence. "Her smells are small hells"?
Gross.
OK, so this is not the worst poem I've ever read. "A lighthouse is a lighthouse with or without a light" is a pretty nice line. These line breaks are killing me though; dude could use a few lessons in form.
Also: Rosie O'Donnell does it better.
So this guy took a dump and emailed it to Gawker. How artsy in an angst-ridden-unrequited love-teenage-mentality kind of way. More, please.
I much prefer his worldwide hit "Everything I Do I Do For It For JeJo"
Her smells are small hells? Fiery rings?
Sounds like scabies!
Is this a crap poem from an angsty dude?
This is painful. Not the good kind.
Like I wasn't suicidal enough today? Shit thanks.
Poor Jess, having her "fiery ring" discussed publically in dismal verse. An allusion to carpet matching drapes no doubt. Or something blistery. V rock n roll.
Spinal Tap review: "...floating on a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."
@Arundel: This fiery ring should have been treated with Versistat.
this is better than the poem I got from Sentimental Skinny Puppy.
@fiveinchtaint:
Wasn't it Ezra Pound who said that if writing is not good prose, it can't be improved by making it a poem?
Mm. I don't know anymore. Still, good advice.
@Reluctant Financier: And they say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but this poem is literary food poisoning.
@fileunder: ...and the bitchy breakup poem I got from Querulous Queensryche.
@Pope John Peeps II: Who would know better than Ezra? (heh)
I tried to find the video of Lee^2 reading this on Leno, but no dice.
I think "In no way do I not realize this is insane" might be my new mantra...
I need
to pick
up
my
dry cleaning
a
n
d
then
make an
eggsaladsandwich
with
the left
over
harboiled
egg
s
I have not yet
eaten with my
tears
i feel the real deal kneel by
the steel seal on the wheel
of fortune
i am all out of vowels
hlp m
When Jewel released her book of poems in '99, Spin devoted their entire 200-word review to her choice of font. We don't even have that luxury in this case. Also, Ryan and Parker Posey used to come into Serendipity and order frozen hot chocolates when they were sooooo hiiiiiiigh.
Is this the new viral ad from Banana Republic?
@fiveinchtaint: "all frown" indeed.
My poem is called "Treasure Trail"
please
would you
either
pull down your
shirt
or
pull up your
pants
cause
your pubes are
show
----ing
Ryan Adams haiku time!
Line breaks are artsy
Gawker carrier pigeon
So scruffy and sad
It's RYAN ADAMS FUCKERS!!!!
NOT BRYAN ADAMS!!!!
NOT BRYAN ADAMS!!!!
THERE'S NO B IN MY NAME AND HES AN OLD MTV GUY AND I'M YOUNG AND HIP AND I DIDNT WRITE SUMMER OF 69 I WASNT EVEN FUCKING BORN THEN!!!!
I'LL KILL YOU ALLL!!!!
AAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
@mrx5000: thank you. If I read one more comment about that song I was going to put a fork in my eye.
my light has gone out
the inbox is empty now
next time, poems by text.
Wow, it's like a literary journal here today for pop stars.
Finally, though, a breakup besides the Julia Allison one.
@dubiouswonder: Methinks that was a reference to R. Adams' propensity for onstage meltdowns. At least one in particular (I think in NY) was triggered by a call for "Summer of '69". That is all.
@Arundel: Hee! I'm pretty sure the original title of that poem was Firecrotch.
And @mrx5000: I'm pretty sure everyone was being all ironical-like. Lighten up, dummy!
@MayorMcCheese: Ooooh! In that case, I stand corrected. Someone's a dummy (I do say that affectionately, btw!), but looks like it ain't mrx5000!
@DorothyMantooth:
can haz para dee, plz?
Like having a six string and only five fingers.
this has made my day.
love is hell.
@DorothyMantooth: Were you, like, pretty sure, or like totally certain? Depending on how you like, answer, I might have to cut your head off and mail it to Brad Renfro's fan club
to be young is to
lose a fire crotch in the
sweetest decline, *sigh.*
Oh Ryan Adams of "Heartbreaker" and "Gold" where have you gone? You've taken heartwrenching beauty and diluted it with alcohol and crap, and have skimmed the surface of "sell out" for years now.
@mrx5000: Easy there.