No dude, I'm a football player.

I heard they had a really hard time telling if his hair was real or not. They made him take a swim, blow dry, and run his fingers through his hair, and they still couldn't tell if it was fake!

Thank god for lie detector tests.

If the scientists could figure out how to make it harden at higher temperatures, Magic Shell would be both effective and tasty.

Hair Club's reach extends far into Hollywood's A-list.
[defamer.com]

Some of those football dudes are seething cauldrons of repressed gaiety, and I could testify to that under oath.

They probably are hitting the right market.

If you go to sites where dudes are looking for female escorts are the ads are for pills to make your dick bigger.

But, if you go to sites where dudes are looking for male prostitutes most of the ads are for baldness cures.

This makes me assume that gay dudes worry about baldness the same way straight dudes worry about dick size.

His answer? "No! I'm just really happy and exuberant all the time!"

Does anyone else get a little freaked out if you go to Defamer or Jezebel and see comments from a Gawker commenter? It's like seeing your boss at the grocery store. "Hey, you're not supposed to be here. Or, yeah, I guess you are."

@drunkexpatwriter: Actually, that's true to a point. But the subset of gay guys who worry about baldness are usually in their 20s or early 30s, and those who can also afford male escorts + pricey baldness cures are not that numerous.

After 35 or so, a Gay is officially an Old, and migrates from Splash and Chelsea Piers to Gym Bar and XL.

It's like Logan's Run with no boobies.

@Nard38: I love both Gawker and Jezebel, so why not comment both places?

@bettycrocker: I also read once that statistically gay dudes have somewhat bigger dicks than straight dudes so they may have less reason to worry about their dick size.

It could also be that since gay dudes see more dicks than straight dudes they worry less about their own size because they know what normal sized dicks look like.

@drunkexpatwriter: i switch it up too, no biggie.

Real men don't waste hormones growing hair.

Why don't more peeps just shave it off?

@drunkexpatwriter: That theory works. Also: by the time in a gay courtship that dicks are being compared, the only dealbreakers are usually dirty or seriously tiny.

@Michael Jahn: Isn't the basic cause of baldness having too much testosterone?

@bettycrocker: Plus they are aiming for smaller, tighter holes.

I would think a bigger dick would simply mean spending more money on lube.

@drunkexpatwriter: Exactly! And who wants to do that in a land where a decent cocktail is $15.00?

@drunkexpatwriter:
So, if you are concerned about both your dick size and your hair, does that make you bi?

@Fritzpeterson: I think that makes you Tom Cruise.

@Gloppy:

I have a friend (with a full head of hair) who for some inexplicable reason gets really mad at the sight of bald men with shaved heads because he feels as though they are trying to "trick" people. He's like "Dude. Everyone knows you're bald." It's amongst the most retarded reasoning for anything I've ever heard. Apparently bald men must maintain their natural "crown" or "receded strip" or whatever as their default look, as choosing the shaved style makes you a bald, lying bastard.

Anyway, he's from Texas.

That's the ad that 's being marketed at gay consumers? I mean, I guess they did ask Nick Swardson to gain 50 pounds for the role of the "Rogaine foam user," so that's a start.

@Chaim Gnadelstein:
Wow, is that ever retarded reasoning. Does your Texas friend's name begin with G and end with Bush and have a W in the middle?

@Chaim Gnadelstein: Does he also obsess over whether or not a girls' tits are fake and if they are "real blondes?"

@Fritzpeterson:

He's kind of like Hitler, if Hitler specifically hated bald people.

@Chaim Gnadelstein: This has been rehashed in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

@drunkexpatwriter: That would explain Bruce Willis and Vin Diesel, wouldn't it.

@Chaim Gnadelstein:

I'm thinking of shaving my head and having hair tatooed on.

@TheHonJudgeSmails2:

Yeah, but by Larry David. Who is bald. This guy? Not bald.

@Michael Jahn: I've been waiting years for someone to explain Vin Diesel.

@drunkexpatwriter:

He actually does. I reckon that's about as far as deducing "that certain je ne sais quoi" in a woman goes amongst your typical Texan good ol' boys.

I've also heard him decry the idea of traveling to other countries, forming his central argument around the question, "What to they got over there that we ain't got here?"

The kid's entertaining enough to drink a Rolling Rock and a shot with, but really, fuck help him.

@Chaim Gnadelstein: The next time he says "What do they got over there that we ain't got here?" you should respond, "Foreskin."

@Chaim Gnadelstein:
"What to they got over there that we ain't got here?"

That's classic Texan!
I lived in Texas for two years back in the early 90's. A couple of my observations: One of the things that drives this type of point of view is that Texans take great pride in the Republic of Texas and will be quick to remind you that Texas is the only state that was once it's own country. And I have never seen a state that so prominently displays it's state flag -- EVERYWHERE. (bonus points to the NYers who can even identify the NY flag much less describe it).

And if you REALLY want to know what is behind the Texas character, go visit the Alamo and sit through and read the presentations. Then you will know what it means to be a Texan!!

@Fritzpeterson:
Come to think of it, the story of the Alamo could go a long way to explain why W has us in that mess in Iraq too.

Balding played no small role in Heath Ledgers demise.

@drunkexpatwriter:

Nice. That, or "I guess you'll never know, amigo."

@Nard38: I get really squicked when they comment on Fleshbot.

@drunkexpatwriter: You're my favorite straight dude on here.

Even I don't comment on fleshbot.

What is there really to say other than "nice bush?"

@Koreanish: Thanks!

So if you're gay and Black you're set (cuz you're hung) but also fucked, cuz you're gay and Black?

@nycheartbreaker: Yes, but the good news is black guys look much better bald than white guys. Yay!

@scroll_lock: In general I agree. But there are those select few white men (soccer/boxing types) that look great with the stubbly noggin. David Beckham, anyone? Me.

@nycheartbreaker: I'd say Beckham's the only exception- everyone else looks like a serial killer to me.

@nycheartbreaker: Not that I'm bald or balding. But I've rocked that look before.

Lord I'm vain.

He has some tig o' man bitties.

@Michael Jahn: hmmm, they waste hormones NOT growing it. high testosterone causes balding. i'm no gay dude, but i'll take raw manliness over head hair, anyday.

@Fritzpeterson: Bonus points to the Texan who can't name the state flowering shrub.

@princeCapsaicin: Yeah, Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro had receding hairlines. I smell a Slate article.

My BF just started using Rogain, I'm so glad that he's on the cutting edge of this. His father has hair plugs -- should I be worried about our disposable income?