Lionsgate, Starz Delivering The 'Crash' TV Series Your Secret Inner Racist's Been Craving

When we briefly worked through the ramifications of the interim deal that Lionsgate struck with the WGA late last week, our thoughts immediately turned to the eventual resumption of production of the company's critically acclaimed, hit TV properties like Mad Men, daring to dream that our favorite hard-drinking, secretary-despoiling ad execs might find their way back to AMC in the not-too-distant future. But we never thought to consider the potential dark side of LG's television business lurching back into action, and so were shocked to learn this afternoon that the studio is partnering with Starz, our go-to premium-cable movie outlet when HBO seems to be showing nothing but Just My Luck and The Devil Wears Prada, to adapt subtle, multiple-Oscar-winning L.A. race-parable Crash for the small screen. The good news: according to Var, "high production values" and the participation of the original, uniquely heavy-handed creative team will ensure a viewing experience every bit as fulfilling as your original trip to the multiplex. The bad news:

None of the major characters from the movie, including the ones played by Matt Dillon, Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock, are likely to make it to the series, said Beggs. "We'll use the style of storytelling from the movie," he said, "but there'll be new characters and new stories to get into the subjects of race and class, and the bigotry that's simmering under the skin of a city like Los Angeles."

Though the jettisoning of Crash's beloved character-types is certainly disappointing (surely, someone at least considered the possibility of making an offer to Kevin Dillon to reprise brother Matt's Oscar-nominated performance), we're sure viewers will embrace the fresh players Paul Haggis uses to expose the prejudice-riddled underbelly of Los Angeles on Starz, open-mindedly accepting the secretly racist firefighters, Hollywood agents, or middle-class housewives who find their lives improbably intertwined by the we're-all-just-trying-feel-something fender-bender that opens each episode.