Last night, a quasi-dramatic screaming match between Britney Spears and her manager Sam Lufti quickly turned from a typical Monday With Britney™ into a full-on Mariah-style breakdown. After a barefoot and bruised-cheeked Britney called current loudmouth boytoy paparazzo Adnan saying, "Baby, come get me," The Animal's estranged parents rushed onto the scene, as did the LAPD. When the frantic Adnan finally arrived, he was denied entrance to Brit's castle and then became engaged in one of the eeriest text message conversations we've ever seen (conveniently delivered via iPhone!):

Adnan via text: "Cool?"
Lufti: "No, she's with doctor now. You're a manic trigger. If you continue to have any contact with him, you'll kill her. Its your decision. You need to cease all contact with her completely. I've tried to work with you helping her but you didn't do as asked. only way to help now is to disappear. She's never been this way befor [sic]"

Dramz! More insanity (and video) after the jump.

According to TMZ, Mama and Papa Spears showed up as part of an organized "creative intervention," which stemmed from worries that their daughter's bipolar disorder was getting out of hand (ya think?). As for Lufti v. Adnan, Lufti allegedly made the initial decision to prevent Adnan from entering Brit's house, leading Adnan to try calling "all six" of her cell phones, to no avail. Then, after Britney escaped the scene, Adnan was supposedly seen driving 100 mph down an LA freeway en route to Ralph's (where else?) with Brit in the passenger seat. Last parting words between Lufti and Brit? "Go fuck your paparazzi boyfriend!"

Phew! That was a handful. Is it just us, or should this tragidramedy be right up there with Atonement on the Academy's list? Think about it, there's even a cameo by a Yorkshire terrier named London! Not even Jean-Claude Carriere could dream up this level of insanity. Here's that video we promised.