GAWKER MADLIBS:

"A little-bit rock n' roll" is 1)_______ code for
2) _________ 3)__________.

@Pope John Peeps II:

1) Mormon
2) Watches TV
3) On Sundays

If a Mormon is ever elected as President, I am leaving the country.

1) Repressed cauldron of raging horniness
2) Presenting squeaky clean image.
3) And has locked drawer filled with mail order dildos, Gun Oil and handcuffs.

@Thenoodieblues: Even if he's gay?

Wait, Donny and Marie had a talk show?

@Bufflekins: Wouldn't be one. The fun of living in America, however, would come to a screeching halt. Bye Bye vice.

DO you think her hubby has to take the special underwear off when they do it, or does he just stick his joint out a special copulation hole designed for that very purpose?

"Responding on-air to questions about her fainting spell, Osmond explained that 'once in a while that happens to me when I get winded. I stop breathing.' She punctuated her remark with a giggle."

Nope, you can't lie on TV.

@Pope John Peeps II: I would have said

1) S&M
2) electricity
3) to the scrotum

I'm so glad that the Mormon population of New York is barely existent and that barely existent population is made up by missionaries that no one really gives a shit about.

@Pope John Peeps II:
1. Osmond family
2. Stunk up
3. The bathroom

@Pope John Peeps II:
A) Religious Kinkster
B) Pinky in the anus
C) during Oral sex

@Pope John Peeps II:
1. Mormon
2. Anal
3. Sex

@Bufflekins: For like two seconds ... and it was soooo bad. They'd have the guests on for four minutes at a time, and once they sang "Seasons of Love" with Jessica Biel. Stop looking at me, my mother would watch it.

Oh goddamnit, you just made a post about anuses and sex and now I look like Carlos Mencia

1) JFP
2) dropping a Viagra
3) for a one night stand with a Fattie

Great. Another venue for her to push her evil crap dolls on America.

Is there any way to arrange a war to the death between the Mormons and the Scientologists? The winner gets to live in Utah.

Mormons are good people with wonderful jello dishes and super sundaes. Marie and Ozzy are a lovely couple, and the Romney Family harmonies are truly magical. Now that they are allowing hoboes into the priesthood (and soon with the new prophet Monson, allowing God himself into the temples) they are truly today's modern-a-go-go religion. Just last Christmas the pope himself remarked that Jesus's quote about Mormons as he dangled on the cross, was probably only uttered in a moment of despair and was not meant to harm.

everybody sing: I'm a little bit Morman, and a little bit.....

@marconi: perfectly put.

Mormons are fucking liars. They do not have spaceships and their cats cannot stand on their hind legs and walk backwards for any great distance. As to the shit I was told about their spoons - they are not backwards-facing spoons, all their forks don't have notches on them for angel feet to rest upon, and their knives go blunt like any other religion's knives. Their cars need fuel of some kind like all other cars, and they can't drive themselves or talk to you about the weather or about golf or biscuits or anything else really. Mormons don't use special tea-towels with the sign of Aries cut into them by children in the third-world - another fucking lie, I've discovered. And they don't all come from fucking Mormania - I know because I looked it up on a map - and a globe - and Mormania doesn't even exist. And don't give one a television show in the afternoon, because that's when they emit a high-frequency gas and it could mean the deaths of millions of stay-at-home moms and pets of all ages.

@viruswithshoes: Yeah, no. No wait...no...Yeah!

@marconi: You sound uncannily like my girlfriend.

@Pope John Peeps II:
1) Cosmo magazine
2) finds creative uses for scrunchies and
3) is Continental

@viruswithshoes: CLAP CLAP CLAP

1) Mormon candidate
2) Officially endorsement of public stoning of sinners
3) Outlawing heathen food (that can't be kept in a bomb shelter) like sushi

Official, not officially. And OFFICIALLY, I hate not being able to edit mistakes as I am of the types-too-fast school of commenting.