Ron Paul for President

At Valleywag we're bound by a strong sense of identity politics defined by one issue: pageviews. More views = more attention + more traffic-based bonus pay to keep our breakfast bourbon flowing. And when it comes to pageviews, Ron Paul's always-on boosters put Barack backers and Hill/Billies to shame, shame, shame. McCain can't raise a blip against The Blimp. You think we're joking, but ask yourself this.

Ron Paul for PresidentIf a guy with a smaller market share than Apple's can rack up 73 percent of TechCrunch's primary vote, what's your candidate's excuse? Al Gore and John Kerry didn't lose to President Bush because evil Republicans stole the vote, or because Ralph Nader stole the voters. They lost because millions and millions of I'm-too-busy Democrats didn't bother to show up on Election Day. This time around register as a permanent absentee, dummy, and mail it in. Spend some time online pestering swing state voters to do the same before next November. Otherwise, you'll once again get the government you deserve.

The next president of the United States will be the most powerful person on Earth. A leader that important should inspire passion and action. Yet the same people who obsessively count their pageviews, links, comments and rankings as irrefutable proof of importance write off Ron Paul's overwhelming volume of support as irrelevant. Instead of smugly dismissing the Paultards, sit up straight and take a lesson: This is how you win.