National editors and radio producers are hounding me to "weigh in" on the obscure business mistakes made by Yahoo's rotating cast of forgettable characters. Why bother? Just look at the site's cluttered, tacky, fat-download pages. The shrieky, out-of-tune verbiage and garish illustrations resemble my friends' failed attempts to write books for children. I don't know what it is about the Yahoo Messenger smiley that makes me want to punch it in the face, but there's your brand promise right there: Hit me.

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