Gawker
White House Correspondents' Association head Ann Compton announced today that the upcoming WHCA dinner will be headlined by late-night funnyman Craig Ferguson. Ferguson has the benefit of being totally inoffensive and theoretically funny, unlike former hosts Stephen Colbert and Rich Little, respectively. No one is sure what to expect, though, as no one has ever watched his program. Ferguson became a citizen just last week, and as his first official act as an American, he will act as obsequious court jester to a room full of war criminals feted as heroes, press members groveling before the ostensible targets of their muckraking, and Laura Bush's face's touching if mildly unsettling tribute to the late Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. (After the jump, Ferguson takes his citizenship test.) [WHCA]
Comments
Scots make me wet in the panties. Too bad he's on the same time as Conan.
Pros:
* Compared to the other late-night comics, he's charming.
* His monologues come off as conversational and extemporaneous, even though they're developed with a writing staff.
* But it doesn't matter, because he's got that Worldwide Pants strike exemption.
* He's a "serious" published writer, but loves tabloid gossip.
* He'll actually try hard.
Cons:
* He's sure to do his Sean Connery, Michael Caine and Prince Charles impressions.
This will either be very, very good or a disaster. If he sings "I'M Fucking Matt Damon" it will be historical.
I thought this post was referring to newest Gawker commenter darling Virus With Shoes.
(Seriously, though, good for Fergy! He really is charming.)
The line about Laura Bush's make-up? Thank you for that.
Nice to see Craig get the nod. He's a good Scottish egg.
Ooh, I hope he does his "Tom Cruise on Tom Cruise" Scientology bit.
I sat beside him chatting when I was visiting Scottish Television, circa '93. He was wearing leather trousers, and appeared both warm and supernaturally tall. We discussed his early career as a stand-up - under the name of "Bing Hitler". I had a couple of his albums, so was well-versed. I can confirm his degree of charm - very nice, very chatty (even to studenty-nerds like me), and very quick off the mark. Glad to see him doing, as it appears, very well.
I've just realised that this post could give the appearance that everyone in Scotland knows everyone else. It's not the case. There's 5 million of us, and only a small percentage are in showbusiness.
@DorothyMantooth: @VirusWithShoes: Regardless of your efforts to hide your identity, I have reason to believe Craig Ferguson=viruswithshoes. That or the Scots have a secret school for The Funny.
I love scotch.
@ragepotato: I, too, have been harboring my suspicions about that first part...
@ragepotato: The Scottish School Of Laughter Generation is located 10 miles outside of Edinburgh. It was instituted in 1872 with the primary purpose of cracking a fucking smile amongst a population ravaged by Presbyterianism, poor diet and shitty - though dramatic - weather. It is reached by going to platform 69 of Edinburgh's Waverley Station and harranging commuters for money for either tea or the bus home. Once on the train, you are given a sample of shortbread and heroin, and the journey takes seven hours due to herrings on the line. The SSLG is not-for-profit, and due to the Scottish propensity for "tight-fistedness", the school has no glass in the windows and no water in the two recently-opened bathrooms. Those who make it through the 3 year course without succumbing to severe dehydration/clinical depression are then allowed outside the grounds to practice their stand-up routines to a flock of drunken and unruly haggis. Recent alumni include Ricardo Montalban and Dick Cheney for some reason.
@VirusWithShoes: I believe Goundskeeper Willie was based on that "drunken and unruly haggis," no?
@DorothyMantooth: I heard Groundskeeper Willie was based on a young Andrew Jackson, 7th President of your popular country. They just thickened the accent to put people off the scent.
@n/a: Also - why the fuck is my name coming up as N/A?
@n/a: I seem to have fixed it. Teach me to joke about Cheney.
@VirusWithShoes: Ha! I love having a resident Scot here at Gawker! Question: I recently had my heart broken by one of your brethren. What is the best way to humiliate a Scotsman whilst seeking revenge? Many thanks.
@Unfun: Sleep with an Englishman.
@Unfun: Oh, yeah, and sorry about all the heartbreaking. I'll have a word with him. I was joking earlier - we do all know each other.
@VirusWithShoes: You are adorable.
@Unfun: I'm the man who makes kittens jealous.
Love Mr. Ferguson. He can serve up the offensible, coated with the inoffensible. A live running commentary by VirusWithShoes would be nice.
@bodegacat: If you can find me a live-feed from somewhere, I'll live-blog. And some weed. Maybe some cougars with loose morals. Make it so.
@VirusWithShoes: For once, my paranoid delusions are justified. The Scottish School for Laughter Generation is only slightly less terrifying than this Al Qaeda character who keeps surfacing. While Gawker seems to be pro-SSLG, I think that we must, particularly on this night of fancy "voting," keep in mind that terror awaits us at all turns, whether they be Scot or Islamofascist. Let's be safe out there, Americans!
@ragepotato: Yep. The SSLG was modelled on the "School of the Americas" but with more slapstick and squirty flowers.
@VirusWithShoes: Your understanding of our ways of bending other countries to our ways only amplifies the terror that we feel. But your knowledge of hilarity confuses us. Please, be scary, or be funny--but not both.
-Homeland Security
P.S. Dane Cook is not your way out.
@VirusWithShoes: You just described Vancouver. When can I expect you?
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