Gawker
Woody Allen hopes that Scarlett Johansson won't end up booze-addled and paparazzi hounded like some of her peers in young Hollywood. He also apparently hopes that she doesn't travel back to 1999, cautioning her against the "Page Six party route." The Post gossip section is still sort of powerful (though, depending on who you ask, emasculated) but it certainly doesn't cover any of the sordidness of young celebrity with the same prurience as these quickly rusting internets. At this point, the Page Six party route is something of an optimistic goal for a young star. Here's hoping rickety old Allen never stumbles upon TMZ by accident. Talk about crimes and misdemeanors! (clunk) [Showbiz Spy]
New York, 8:24 PM
Sun Jul 6
2 posts in the last 24 hours
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Comments
"EEEEEmasculate". Golly.
Although, you made up for it with ". . .rickety old Allen."
I just hope she keeps on that cherry bathing suit. Wait...no, I don't.
good call, she should get old and gnarly AND THEN make the gossip pages for something more creepily sordid... like, say, gray incest (?).
@crotchety: FIXED. Embarrassing.
Yeah, well, he also hopes she never turns 18.
@lolcait: Don't be imbarassed.
@TheHonJudgeSmails: HA.
He also hopes she swallows.
How do you get on the Page Six Party Route? Is there a season ticket or something? Press pass?
Does anybody know what she's looking at in that picture? Is she worried about avian flu?
@VirusWithShoes: That's Mia up there with a machete.
I wish Scarlett would go back to kind of swimsuits she used to wear, when her boobs used to be funny.
... to the kind of ...
who the hell listens to this odiferous old daughter-marrier anyway? I guess he'll go to his grave convinced of his own sex appeal--remember his creepy movie interest in Mariel? As for Miss Scarlett--she had better keep that figure, because the butch monotone and inability to act aren't working in her favor...
@VirusWithShoes: She's on the lookout for all the high level Scientologists circling overhead, fearful they might swoop down and nab Woody.
I just hope she doesn't end up marrying her adopted child
@ChurlishSpice: Ah - the often-rumoured "Xenu Drones"...
@VirusWithShoes: Oh how I search the skies for a Xenu Drone. Sadly, I've yet to see one. Sigh.
@TedSez: Ah. . .you just read her for the jokes.
Scarlett Johansson is such a shitstain. I can't even begin to explain how embarrassed I felt at Coachella last year when she got onstage with The Jesus & Mary Chain and started singing (moaning?)
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