Holy shit. I almost lost it when that chick slipped a finger into the canteloupe.

The Canadian version of the ad features the protagonist suffering an allergic reaction to the papaya that causes her head to swell up and eventually explode, with her brain matter spewing over her lovers.

That lady needs to trim her strawberry patch.

@IBentMyWookie: But right before that, she smells burnt toast!

I saw boobies.

Um, I liked when the girl ate the watermelon, not because I'm a lesbian but because I'm black.

Ima fuck a mango, BRB.

Am I supposed to want to eat the fruit, or fuck it? I guess they don't really care as long as I buy it... 30 cantaloupes please!

Gives new meaning to "tossed friut salad". I'm not sure if I'm hungry or horny...

I think the moral of the story is that every fruit, no matter how common or exotic, looks like either a penis or a vagina when presented a certain way. And that's kind of awesome.

[adds "raspberries," "pillow-lipped Frenchman" to grocery list]

This is just another elaborate ploy by the Big Fruit lobby to make pomegranates attractive to kids.

What happened? I blacked out.

This reminds me of Patsy Stone's unforgettable line about the soon-to-be-married Saffy:

"She is a virgin in a world where men will turn to soft fruit for pleasure."

This may be why vegans will only have sex with other vegans.

Fruit Salad. Yummy Yummy.

But when I suggest an office three-way people get all pissy.

I don' t know about anybody else but this is pretty much the way I consume fruit...a fig just doesn't taste the same unless you've warmed it in your crotch first...

2 girls, 1 fruitcup?

I will never eat a Granny Smith apple again.

@Frightened Inmate #2: RICHARD!!!!!COMMMIEEEE!

Wow!!! I want fruit!!!!!!!!

CALL ME EUROPEAN but I don't really see why people spend so much time being offended at sexual commercial content. Americans (I'm looking at you shitstains in the Bible Belt) get offended at GoDaddy.com commercials with dancing girls in tank tops and I just can't really fathom why.

Sexual content in commercials is a better way of wording it.

I'm confused - I'm not sure if I want to go out and buy some fruit or go and find me a threesome?

Don't laugh; okay, laugh. The internet can take it.

There are instructions for getting busy with the melon family and there's The Organic Dildo site, among other NSFFoodPyramid sites. Remember, it only counts as a serving if you SWALLOW.

This advertisement cries out for an American version, with the fruit-sex replaced with fruit-violence. Sploosh! Smurg! Spap!

God, French people have their flaws, but when they get it RIGHT, it's righter than any fucking thing humans have ever invented EVER.

Does anyone hear the dial up ancient internet sounds at the end? Not like I, um, heard them. Because I watched this. Um. A few times.

Going to Europe. BRB.

Back. That was awesome!

If sex will sell fruit, then what will sell vegetables?

@famousauthor: The organic dildo site.

I'm hornungry!

Does anyone know what song is playing here?