Michael Eisner Unilaterally Declares Writers Strike Over

Defying both the media blackout and the current spirit of Cautious Optimism keeping the industry from throwing a premature Everybody's Going Back to Work! Parade on Hollywood Boulevard before a new WGA contract is signed, former Disney boss and current trading-card magnate Michael Eisner declared an end to the writers strike earlier this afternoon on CNBC's Fast Money:

"It's over," Eisner said. "They made the deal, they shook hands on the deal. It's going on Saturday to the writers in general."
Eisner, speaking live on CNBC's "Fast Money," seemed to hesitate initially about whether it was possible that the writers could still reject the agreement, but finally suggested the deal's acceptance was inevitable.

"A deal has been made, and they'll be back to work very soon," Eisner said, adding, "I know a deal's been made. I know it's over."

So there you have it: Hands have been shaken! Crucial Guild meetings have been dismissed as mere formalities! Everyone should get ready to head back to work as soon as five minutes from now, undeterred by the inevitable WGA e-mail blast suggesting that Eisner should probably go back to keeping himself busy dreaming up new Prom Queen plotlines instead of trying to call off the picket lines.