Every drunk idiot in New York called erstwhile "dating" "columnist" Julia Allison's funny little voicemail number from the front page of Time Out. And Time Out helpfully uploaded their calls. And we're posting them! No one actually seems very interested in dating Julia, as New Yorkers are largely a group with a strong instinct for self-preservation. Highlights include a call that seems to be from the Holy Modal Rounders and this one, from Juan: "Hey Julia, it's Juan, and I just wanted to know if I could impregnate you, alright. Give me a call, at Jancy's house." Embedded playlist after the jump. Oy.