Getting To Know Your Jesse Metcalfe Bashers: Introducing Mams Taylor

With so little to go on as far as the identity of the squat, musclebound bruiser who gave Jesse Metcalfe a licking outside Boulevard 3 last night, we were thrilled to learn that In Touch has now officially unmasked the mystery clocker: It was Mams Taylor, who, as it turns out, is not an ugly stereotype of elderly African-American woman, but an aspiring rapper, and Taryn Manning's boyfriend of four months. Mams's MySpace page has been flooded with visitors since news spread of his vigilantism, praising him for expressing in flying knuckles what they could never quite put into words. His first statement on the incident is after the jump:

"I'm an old-fashioned guy and I stood up for my woman," Mamms [sic] says. "Jesse said some inappropriate things and when I tried to diffuse the situation he grabbed my neck so out of self-defense I knocked him right on his ass." "He didn't get in one good punch but to Jesse's credit I lost one of my shoes," Mamms continues. According to an insider, Mamms, a music producer and artist, received over 17,000 hits to his MySpace page when news of the incident hit the web. "Mamms doesn't start fights but he finishes them," his pal says. "Jesse picked on the wrong guy and that's why he got knocked out."

Let that be a lesson to you, Metcalfe: We don't got room for your Mannin'-harassin' kind in this town. It's something the fading Desperate Housewives star and tenacious scene-rat won't likely soon forget, as he wakes up screaming to the recurring nightmare that ends just before a fist, with the letters M, A, M, and S tattooed on each finger, connects with his face.