Matthew McConaughey Removes Shirt, Earns Top Spot At Box Office

As the fuzzy memories of drunkenly shaving MAMA into the back of your head following Kanye West's moving Grammy tributes to his mother slowly come into focus, have a look at the weekend box office numbers:

1. Fool's Gold - $22.010 million
Though the reunion of How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days co-stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey did healthy business over another slow, pre-Oscars weekend, we feel like it's time that the onetime Sexiest Man Alive leave easy-money gigs like Fool's Gold behind and start seeking out more ambitious projects that better utilize his staggering gifts.

The technology now exists for the actor/producer to finally get to work on the genre-defying, CGI-enhanced vanity-opus he's been quietly planning since the summer of 2006, Matthew McConaughey Presents Matthew McConaughey In: Beach-Yoga Fuck-Clones of Malibu, an artistically pure endeavor that will help him shake the misconception he's nothing more than a well-sculpted bongo enthusiast just livin' his way through his movie career.

Bonus! Follow this link to a photograph of a surfboard-straddling, shirtless McConaughey pointing to something out of the frame in hunky, carefree fashion!

2. Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins - $17.127 million
Is there anything Martin Lawrence can't do? Cross-dressing, fat-suited romps, Michael Bay blowing-shit-upstravaganzas, road movies about frustrated surburbanites' leather-daddy awakenings, and now, a Tyler Perry-style "families are crazy!" film. We can't wait to see what surprises the next twenty years of Lawrence's career brings.

3. Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: The Best Of Both Worlds Concert Tour - $10.508 million
Watch out, Olsen Twins, Miley Cyrus is coming to destroy your billion-dollar-a-year, tween-pickpocketing empire, and she has the unfair advantage of not having to share a brain with a conjoined business partner: "'She's moved into the space that the Olsen twins used to own,' Wood says. 'She has almost more potential. The Olsen twins' empire was built slowly over many years. But Hannah Montana has risen so quickly she's exploded into every genre.'"

4. The Eye - $6.630 million
5. Juno- $5.725 million

[no ranking] The Hottie and the Nottie- $25,000
At $225 per screen, Paris Hilton seriously challenged Jessica Simpson's $165 Blonde Ambition average, but the generosity of a distributor willing to put The Hottie and the Nottie into 111 theaters pushed her into the five-figure territory that prevented a real run at her peer's $6,422 opening.